vote. get laid.

Voter­gasm encour­ages (horny) cit­i­zens to vote via the cliched (but effec­tive) form of ancient bribery/blackmail: the promise of (or threat of with­hold­ing) sex. On thi­er site, you can pledge to, at the very least, with­hold sex from non­vot­ers for a week; or, at the most, promise to have sex with a vot­er on elec­tion night, and with­hold sex from non­vot­ers for four years. You can even search for voter­gasm “par­ties” in your area — the per­fect forum for hook­ing up with a fel­low voter…ensuring the ful­fill­ment of your pledge.

While inter­est­ing­ly kinky, I wor­ry that the play­out of this would be less than sexy. I can imag­ine meet­ing the man of my dreams, and, entwined in a sweaty embrace, hav­ing to whis­per in his ear: “Hey, did you vote?”

One thought on “vote. get laid.”

  1. Yes I did.

    But

    .…you’re going to be mad at me.
    I’m pret­ty sure I acci­den­tal­ly vot­ed for Pat Buchanan.

    … I mean…
    Ok. Yes, I know he was­n’t on the bal­lot, and that the only way I could have vot­ed for him at all was by write-in… but ..

    Look, it’s com­pli­cat­ed. All right? God! Why do you always have to do this?! I’m not per­fect — I get it! I’m sor­ry if I com­mit­ted the ulti­mate sin of being human! I’ll nev­er be good enough for you! NO ONE — will EVER — be good enough for you! And do you think .…I don’t know … you could maybe .… show­er …every once-in-a-while?
    Imean­look-!!!! ..AGH!! You’ve got­ten *SWEAT! — all over my new zoobas!

    Glan­du­lar dis­or­der my red-hot tiger-striped bag­gy-pant­ed ass.

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